A fictional shark has returned to the sea after asking several times whether relocation was genuinely the only option available through the local visitor economy.
The canal offered shelter, a predictable route and people who noticed when it arrived. The sea offered scale, biodiversity and the considerable administrative burden of finding its own dinner.
A relocation officer presented a brochure describing open water as a vibrant, connected environment. The shark noted that the illustration contained no seating, no promenade and an alarming number of other things with teeth.
Officials stressed that the move was in its interests. The shark accepted the point but requested written confirmation that the sea would not immediately be described as overcapacity when it got there.
A fictional tourism consultant proposed retaining a symbolic shark experience through an app. Users could view a blue screen and receive a notification whenever something might be swimming past.
The shark eventually departed without attending its farewell event. This was interpreted as a dignified return to nature rather than the reasonable desire to avoid several speeches about stakeholder collaboration.
The canal is now considering how to maintain visitor numbers. Early proposals include a sculpture, an interpretation board and a committee to investigate why the original attraction appeared without first applying for funding.
