A fictional security review has concluded that a guard dog who welcomed an intruder with a toy was delivering a highly effective service against the wrong specification.
The household had requested deterrence. The dog understood this as an opportunity to build relationships with new stakeholders, particularly stakeholders who might throw the blue thing.
His incident report records a successful greeting, strong eye contact and an immediate offer of recreational facilities. No unauthorised person left feeling insufficiently valued.
A consultant proposed retraining the dog to distinguish friends from strangers. The dog indicated that strangers are simply friends who have not yet been shown the toy, making the proposed distinction both temporary and unnecessarily negative.
The owner's attempts to demonstrate a threatening voice were interpreted as further evidence that playtime had begun. A second demonstration attracted a neighbour, who was also offered the toy.
Insurers have requested information about the property's other protective measures. These include a motion sensor that activates when a moth passes and an owner who regularly checks whether the door was locked by returning home to find out.
The dog remains confident in his approach. Since the incident, the house has received more attention, more visitors and several deliveries. From a dog’s perspective, security has never been better.
