A fictional running event has congratulated entrants on completing a race whose surface conditions were upgraded without the usual additional registration charge.
Participants expecting a road discovered that the road had developed a substantial water feature. The organisers described this as an immersive course experience, a phrase runners had previously assumed referred to scenery.
The race app continued to offer split times with admirable confidence. It did not provide a field for the moment a participant stopped being certain whether their shoes were still relevant.
One runner said he had spent months choosing breathable kit. He would now prefer something with a hull. Another requested that the finishing medal be redesigned to indicate that several species of fish could have entered without special training.
The fictional organising committee rejected the suggestion that the event had accidentally become a triathlon. A proper triathlon also requires a bicycle, and the budget would not stretch to retrieving one from the canal.
Entrants were reminded that resilience is an important part of distance running. So is knowing when conditions are unsafe, a detail absent from the motivational email written six weeks earlier.
Next year's premium package will include a waterproof certificate confirming that the participant had originally intended to go for a run.
