An estate agency has introduced a happiness assessment after discovering that buyers increasingly attend viewings looking as though they understand the asking price. Applicants must now smile at the front door and maintain an expression of possibility through the box room.
The assessment includes describing a road-facing bedroom as "surprisingly peaceful" and explaining how a downstairs toilet might become an office, gym and small continental breakfast area. Candidates who ask where the washing machine goes will lose points for negativity.
First-time buyer Martin Bell passed the financial checks but failed after looking directly at a stain. He had previously impressed the agent by calling a steep staircase "a lovely way to keep active" and pretending not to hear the train. His appeal will be considered after the vendor's next price increase.
The agency said happiness remained optional once contracts were exchanged, at which point most buyers naturally progressed to acceptance. A premium service will coach applicants to say "we can really see ourselves here" while calculating the cost of replacing everything they can see. Bell has booked another viewing. He is practising enthusiasm for a room in which the current owner keeps enthusiasm and a single ironing board.
