A London resident has enjoyed a relaxing afternoon looking at objects beyond his financial reach, providing a welcome change from his usual evenings looking at flats beyond his financial reach.
At the gallery stand, Oliver Marsh was able to stand in a large white room without first proving an annual income of forty times its monthly rent.
He particularly admired a small canvas whose price was available on request. This reminded him of an estate agent’s phrase guide price, except the canvas came without a promise that the crack was purely cosmetic.
An adviser asked whether he was building a collection. Oliver explained that he was currently concentrating on a deposit.
He was then shown a sculpture described as an investment in a conversation. For the same money, he calculated, he could fund several years of conversations with a landlord about the boiler.
The visit ended at the café, where he encountered the only item he could theoretically purchase: a sandwich priced with sufficient confidence to qualify as contemporary performance.
He left feeling culturally enriched and financially unchanged. His partner later asked whether he had seen anything with two bedrooms.
Only, he replied, if they were prepared to describe the second one as an absence.
