A supermarket has decided that scanning a plastic card is insufficient evidence of loyalty and will require customers to stand by the freezer aisle and mean it. Shoppers seeking the member price must explain what the store has done for them emotionally.
The new terms include mentioning the chain positively in casual conversation, avoiding eye contact with rival carrier bags and reporting friends who say all baked beans are much the same. A customer caught visiting another supermarket may retain points if the visit was purely anthropological.
Regular shopper Judith Marsh said she had joined to save forty pence on butter, not enter a relationship with a retail estate. Her concern was noted in the app, where it immediately reduced her compatibility score. To recover her discount she must complete a short quiz about the founder's values.
The company said customers remained completely free to leave, although doing so would mean paying the price reserved for strangers. Platinum members will receive a personalised birthday message explaining that their favourite biscuits are no longer included. Marsh has asked whether twenty years of custom count for anything. They do, the app confirmed: enough data to know she will probably stay.
