This is satire. Events, dialogue and quotations in this article are invented for comic effect. It is not a factual news report.

An attendee at a musical theatre convention has discovered that the magic behind the curtain includes an impressively developed system of additional purchasing opportunities.

Her initial ticket admitted her to the event. Within the event, further tickets admitted her to experiences which the initial ticket had apparently existed to make visible.

She selected a conversation about accessibility, then checked whether her pass provided access to it. It did, subject to availability, which had become an artistic concept in its own right.

A premium experience offered an intimate encounter with the creative process. This involved standing in a smaller queue close enough to watch the larger queue resent her.

Organisers explained that different packages allowed visitors to curate their own experience. Her carefully curated experience now included a sandwich eaten standing up because the seats were associated with a separate experience.

Nevertheless, she enjoyed meeting performers whose work had moved her profoundly. Their enthusiasm briefly dismantled the elaborate commercial structure around them.

Back at the merchandise stand, she bought a notebook celebrating the power of imagination.

She plans to use it to record everything she will do differently next year, beginning with reading what the ticket actually includes.