Technology / SATIREGovernment Consults 137 AI Companies, Then Asks Nature to Submit Feedback Through the Portal
Environmental concerns remain welcome, provided they arrive in a format that does not delay construction.
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20 ORIGINAL SATIRICAL ARTICLESTechnology / SATIRE
Technology / SATIREDelivery Robot Reaches British Pavement, Requests Working from Home
Advanced navigation system defeated by one wheelie bin and a man saying “after you”.
Technology / SATIREGraduate Reassured AI Will Never Replace Person Held Responsible for AI
The machine can do the work in seconds. Someone still needs to apologise for it at 8.30.
Technology / SATIRETourists Visit China to Meet Robots Before Returning Home to Train Their Replacements
Holiday offers exciting preview of next year’s restructuring announcement.
Technology / SATIREHumanity Spends Decades Developing Artificial Intelligence; Robots Perform the Macarena
The future arrives and immediately behaves like an uncle at a wedding.
Technology / SATIRE$89,000 Robot Trains to Become Babysitter, Bringing Affordable Childcare Within Reach of Other Robots
Prototype can sing, wave and absorb the approximate cost of a university education.
Technology / SATIRECouncil Invites Small Businesses to Discover How AI Can Ignore Their Emails More Efficiently
The future of enterprise arrives in a function room with one working socket.
Technology / SATIRERobot Breaks Sprint Record, Disqualified From Office Sports Day for Having No Excuse
Colleagues demand proof it stayed up late and has a slightly troublesome knee.
Technology / SATIREAI Industry Faces Unreasonable Demand to Explain Where the Money Is
A routine request for a paying customer is referred to the department responsible for explaining why customers will eventually pay.
Technology / SATIREAI Finally Turns a Profit After Selling AI to Another AI Company
The breakthrough comes as suppliers discover the one customer still excited about buying more AI: another supplier.
Technology / SATIREBritain’s AI safety plan asks superintelligence to tick “I am not a robot”
Machine clears first security hurdle, then patiently identifies six bicycles for a man who has forgotten his password.
Technology / SATIREGovernment publishes framework to ensure AI confidently finds correct framework
The machine has located the answer. Officials would now like to establish which version.
Technology / SATIREVillage gets fast broadband, loses final excuse for missing video calls
Local professionals describe infrastructure upgrade as devastating.
Technology / SATIREAI founder changes “app” to “sovereign infrastructure”, adds three zeroes to pitch
A calendar reminder acquires a national mission and a suitably enlarged valuation.
Technology / SATIREStartup promises to disrupt procurement, asks procurement where to begin
Application for permission to simplify the application process is nearly complete.
Technology / SATIRERobot’s first day in British office spent completing mandatory training
Machine expected to become productive shortly after the dignity-at-work module.
Technology / SATIRECompany’s AI risk plan begins by asking AI to write the risk plan
Board reassured after machine rates itself “broadly manageable”.
Technology / SATIREBritain prepares for autonomous AI by giving it a steering committee
System achieves self-awareness, immediately asks who owns the action points.
Technology / SATIRESpreadsheet granted strategic market status after entire company forgets who built it
The workbook is now considered both critical infrastructure and a frightened animal.
Technology / SATIREOffice given choice of software it must use to request different software
The consultation has been opened in the programme everyone wants to leave.